Rituals
by zephyrchild
Summary: On the search for the Eye of Jupiter, an unexpected task arises, leaving many eyebrows raised and Starbuck and Apollo in a rather delicate situation. AU. Also Bill Adama's need to prove his masculinity occurs. R
1. Chapter 1

Bill Adam stood in CIC awaiting a report from the Chief on the surface below. The last message he had been sent had mentioned something about Aphrodite, and then the Chief had asked for an hour to make sense of the room they had found on the planet's surface.

Dee glanced over, and promptly nodded and handed the Old Man the head set.

"Sir?" the Chief's voice echoed over the com.

"What did you find out?"

"In order to take the eye of Jupiter, a ritual has to be enacted, Apollo thinks it's like the Tomb of Athena where the room will change after…from the hieroglyphs that seems about right."

"Hieroglyphs?'

"On the walls, sir, they seem to depict a fertility ritual."

'What sort? Costumes and chants?"

A female voice spoke from the background, it might have been Cally, "Ritual sex act." This sentence was punctuated by a giggle.

"It seems to promise fertility to the fleet sir, and is necessary to retrieve the eye."

"What?"

"Sir, the fleet needs to perform a fertility ritual, two people on the altar of Aphrodite, the quorum of 12, and what I think has to be the leader, uh, president."

"Are you telling me, in all seriousness that Laura Roslin has to have sex on an altar?" Bill whispered into the telephone set.

"No sir, she'd be require to lead some sort of religious ceremony…a chant if you will, while two people…err…couple on the altar, with amulets on their wrists…the amulets are here in what seems to be some kind of font containing water…"

"Sex?'

"Yes, sir, sex."

The people in the CIC looked up at the word 'sex'

"Oh come on." Admiral Adama said to them, "Just because I'm over 50 does not mean I don't think about sex!" He turned back to the headset. "This is Actual….So you are saying that we have to have some sort of sex rite?"

"Yes, and it looks like they promise twins to whomever has sex outside the temple while the ritual is in progress…"

"Do you mean we have to have to get people to agree to perform in a fertility right?"

"Don't worry about that Sir, Cally and I are volunteering.." A loud female voice was heard in the background.

"What the FRAK???"

Admiral Adama cleared his throat. "Perhaps the two of you should talk it over a bit more."

"No Sir, it's fine Cally is nodding at me now…she always wanted to have twins…"

"I'll send raptors with the president and the quorum, I'll notify the fleet…" Admiral Adama finished lamely, than turned to Dee, "Can you broadcast the news of the fertility rite to the president, quorum and civilian ships, and get Starbuck, Athena and Racetrack to take raptors to the surface with the president and quorum delegates."

Bill rubbed his temples, sex, just what we need. Then he paused, thought about the human population and smiled before repeating aloud, "Yes, just what we need."

The faces in CIC smiled as they heard Dee broadcast the news to various people, hiding giggles under their hands.

"Back to work kids, none of you are getting off this ship to go and frak around on the surface." Bill rolled his eyes to the disappointed groans.

A few hours later, a voice was heard over the com.

"Sir, Laura Roslin on the surface requests permission to speak with Galactica actual."

Bill grabbed the headset, "Galactica Actual here."

"Bill, your son Lee is a gigantic pain in the ass. The fonts containing the amulets had catches at the bottom, and before either Chief Tyrol or Mrs. Tyrol could get the amulets, your son volunteered to help, before we could stop him, the managed to trip the catch on the amulet, which is firmly attached to his wrist. Mrs. Tyrol; of course, immediately pulled out her hand, she was quite upset. Chief Tyrol was on the verge of smacking Lee."

"Very well, I'll send Dee to the surface with Hotdog."

"Bill, unfortunately that won't be necessary, you see, Captain Thrace is also a gigantic pain in the ass. As soon as we discovered that Apollo must take part in the ritual, she pushed Cally out of the way and got the other amulet firmly attached to her wrist. In other words, our two participants are ready, we're just waiting for sunset now."

"Laura, Lee's wife is standing right beside me and can here every word we're saying."

"Oh yes. And one of your pilots, Racetrack requests that you send Hotdog down to the surface in a raptor immediately."

"With who?"

"According to Athena, Karl Agathon….apparently they intend on participating outside."

Bill groaned slightly, his pilots had gone ritual-crazy. "Mr. Gaeta, get Hotdog and Helo and let them know they're needed," Bill emphasized this word with sarcasm, "on the surface."

Gaeta looked up from patting a sniffling Dee on the shoulder, and walked towards the nearest phone.

Bill rolled his eyes as he handed the headset back to Dee, it's not like he could ban his pilots from having sex.

"Sir, the president wants to let you know that your presence will not be required on the surface, given that your son will be one of the celebrants." Dee choked out the last ten words angrily.

"Damn it, Dee, you tell her I'm going, I'm tired of being told I'm to old, Saul, you have CIC, Mr Gaeta, inform Hotdog and Helo that I will be accompanying them to the surface."

And with that Bill Adama stormed out of the CIC towards the hangar bay.


	2. Chapter 2

Bill Adama was not a patient man. Well, that wasn't all that true, he thought as he waited for Hotdog and Helo to finish piling blankets into the raptor. But Adama had no patience for Gods and rituals. He listened to them chatter on.

"Okay, so we got twelve blankets…"

"Helo, what about, you know…"

"It's a fertility ritual Hotdog, I think that goes against the point."

"Right, well just in case…"

"Let's go!" Bill grunted gruffly.

"Yes sir." And with that they closed the hatch.

It was going to be a long ride. Before they could even power up the raptor, Dee's forced voice echoed over the COM, "Admiral, the fleet news service has requested to send a delegation to the surface, pre-approved by Laura Roslin. Make sure to pick them up at Colonial One on your way to the surface."

Bill groaned in his throat, they'd probably want to interview him, Laura, the quorum and of course the celebrants, the very thought made Bill grind his teeth, loudly. However Helo and Hotdog were too busy chattering on amongst themselves to even notice. It was just a stupid fertility ritual, Bill told himself again as a pile of rambunctious journalists came aboard. A number of overlapping voices thoroughly blocked out any other sound

"Admiral Adama!"

"Admiral is it true your son Lee will be a celebrant in the ceremony?'

"Admiral Adama, are you sad you can't participate?'

"Are civilians going to the surface as well?

"Can I have a few words?"

"Admiral Adama, is there any truth to the rumours of a romantic relationship between you and President Roslin?"

"Admiral Adama, Why were Lee Adama and Kara Thrace chosen as the celebrants?"

Bill looked at them with an icy glare, which had absolutely no effect, so he yelled, " Yes Lee is in it, NO! NO! NO! No…comment! I don't know!" He fumed a little over their assumption of his impotence. Even though it had been some time now since his viper had seen action, it was still ready to go if the situation were to arise.

'Admiral Adama-"

An icy glare me the eyes of the journalists, who all readjusted the cameras on a close up. "Try to enjoy the ride." He managed gruffly, deciding it was still too early to anger the press.

They couldn't have arrived on the surface fast enough to appease the Admiral.

"Admiral Adama, Lieutenant Agathon, members of the press, welcome."

"President Roslin will we be allowed to record footage of the…ritual?"

"I believe, that to protect the privacy of the people involved, it would be more tactful to use print."

The press crowded into the antechamber and immediately started buzzing with questions so that all that was heard was a babble of chatter. Admiral Adama saw the cameras come out and had the need to take matters into his own hands.

"Any one who records any footage of the sex act, will be left on the surface, permanently, you as the press are here to observe, which means quietly, anyone who speaks-"

'Will be promptly returned to Galactica's brig. Thank you Admiral."

'Any time Madam President."

The press huddled against the wall of the antechamber as though the first to speak would be thrown out an airlock. Kara and Lee stood beside the altar. Lee tapped the stone with his fist.

"Not a particularly comfortable spot for you Kara."

"That's why I have no intention of lying on it...but if you'd like a pillow Lee, I'm sure that could be arranged."

"Kara I'm not going to lie on my back…it's undignified…especially in front of the press."

"So you think that I want to be lying on my back? On this thing?"

"Kara that's the way things are supposed to be, women on their backs, and men, preferably me, on top of them."

"I like to be on top, okay Lee, I like to drive…you didn't seem to mind so much back on..."

"Kara look at these pictographs."

"Yeah so?"

At that moment the Geminese delegate approached the arguing pair.

"Are you two comfortable with your roles in the ceremony?"

"Look, it's a little late for the birds and bees speech." Kara started.

"Ok, so your role is that of life-giver." She paused and pointed at the pictograph "That's you, the nurturing life-giver (at this point Lee worked hard to conceal his laughter) lying on your back showing your openness to life and full surrender to your role in the ceremony, giving yourself fully to the consort and the gods." The Geminese delegate smirked "So yes, that is you on your back. That is a crucial part of the ritual itself you see it began back on Kobol…"

Just outside the antechamber there was quite a different sort of conversation taking place. "Maggie, did you…umm…maybe…want to...have sex?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, good."

"Look Brendan, I wouldn't have asked you down here if I wasn't serious about us and I think we're both ready to settle down a bit."

"They say any couple who participates will be blessed with twins. So, maybe we could, you know, get married?"

"I guess that'd be a good idea"

"Guess so." He leaned in to kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"Hotdog! Racetrack! It's almost sunset, get back in here if you want to participate."

A sense of tension was in the air; Bill sensed it in the way Laura was wringing her hands. Laura let out a little giggle at something the Geminese delegate whispered to her. There were four couples in all. The Chief and Cally, Athena and Helo, and Racetrack and Hotdog had staked out blankets outside and were waiting for the sunset.

Laura Roslin cleared her throat. "Alright, we come here to celebrate the timeless joining of two bodies" She read from the text translated by the Geminese delegate. "It is symbolic of fertility, fruitfulness, and life-giving love. The life-giver and her consort take on the roles of all men and all women in the coming together of limbs and souls. May we all prosper and be fruitful…Ok it says that all of the participants must disrobe…Major Adama, kindly control your laughter, and remove only your own articles of clothing." Laura looked up at the sound of something heavy being thrown onto the floor. Bill had grabbed a camera from one of the reporters and smashed it under his foot. He smiled and waved at Laura.

"One becoming two. It is a ritual observed by all. It must be treated with reverence and respect as the process of which we are all made." Laura said a little prayer and poured a sacramental offering of oil over the naked bodies of the participants.

Bill was trying to remain calm, to distance himself from the sight in front of him. It was his son naked; he'd seen his son naked countless times. He remembered when he used to change Lee's diapers, when he gave his son a bath, when he taught his son to use the urinal, when Lee had gone skinny-dipping as a child of eight in the pond near their cottage. He was lost in his memory. He was disturbed to find President Roslin praying, whilst his son was mounting the altar, with Kara on it. He saw their naked bodies draw close, Kara spread her legs, then he saw Kara's hand reach out and pinch Lee's bottom, it was like a wake up call, as the spectators lead by Laura began to chant, he bolted from the antechamber. Relieved to see the grass and the trees. He took a deep breath, what was that shape over there? Perhaps a little woodland animal…no it's too big…he looked over and saw a bare bum sticking out of the long grass. The first thought he had is whose bum is really that pale; no body's bottom should be that pale.

"OH HELO!!"

Well that answered that question….

"Oh YES!! OH HELO!! OH GODS!! OH YES!!! YESS!!!!"

Perhaps he should return to the raptor he thought. Yes, he'd return to the raptor and he'd…but something up ahead was blocking his path. Oh gods…was that the Chief? Damn…Bill had never wanted to see that. He heard a groan escape the coupling.

'Oh Cally…" Cally herself was making cute little "Uh" noises in time with his…

Bill bolted towards a large tree and leant against it. To his great surprise the tree was shaking. He peered around the sides of the tree. Hotdog had Racetrack pressed again the tree and was making love to her. Her groans and sighs cut off by a kiss. Bill shook his head to clear it. He ran like he had never run before back to the temple. As he sat outside it he took a swig from a flask inside his front pocket. Unfortunately above all the chanting inside the temple, which was very loud, he heard noises…noises of the sort that assured him that Kara and Lee were almost…finished; but still those that would disturb him until the day he died. Among all the moans and gasps he heard Kara loudly shrieking Lee's name out in the night. His first thought was 'that's my boy' his second thought was total and utter disgust. He started singing an old colonial drinking song while putting his fingers firmly in his ears. All of a sudden the noises stop. He quickly stood up, took a swig of ambrosia, and brushed off his uniform. He waited for the press to file out and back onto one of the waiting raptors. After exchanging looks with Laura they decided to take the other raptor. Leaving Kara and Lee to ride with the reporters.

'Well?" Bill said to Laura during takeoff.

"Well." Laura replied.

After a long silence in which neither one of them talked very much Laura finally said. "You know Bill, I'm surprised you lasted that long. I figured the second Lee had his shirt off you be out of there like a bullet."

"Laura, can we not discuss my son having sex with Kara Thrace?"

"Certainly Bill."

Cally, The Chief, Athena, Helo, Racetrack and Hotdog all looked at Bill with disbelief.

"Oh come on!" Bill burst out. "I'm a man, I think about sex, and I talk about sex…in fact, those of you who missed out on the fact that I have a son, I've actually had sex, in fact I've had a lot of sex, I'm actually quite good at sex, I've been married twice, and I did go to military college. Just because I am over fifty does not mean I don't have sex! In fact if the opportunity comes along, I will have sex, because I like sex!"

Laura was stifling her laughter by covering her mouth with her hand, while the others were staring at him with gaped mouths. She too had found that far to many people liked to believe that she being ...older never thought about sex. In fact she was thinking about sex right now. She was wondering to herself what sex with Bill Adama would be like.

The raptor landed in the hangar bay on Galactica. Bill escorted Laura back to his quarters to discuss the clue leading to earth. After a long, and somewhat embarrassing conversation they had run to a block in conversation.

'Hmm…"

"Yes…well…"

But before Bill could make his move Lieutenant Gaeta burst into the room. "Admiral, Madam President of course, There's a big problem with the press, you have to come to CIC right now...this is terrible."

Note: I own nothing, this story will continue, still more to cover…


	3. Chapter 3

They practically ran to CIC, with Gaeta running ahead a few paces. With a lack of explanation and the worried look they received it seemed the logical thing to do.

Damn, Bill thought as he ran through the corridors toward CIC, they'd been so close to kissing again, and that would have been rather nice, it wouldn't have taken much to… he cut himself off as he reached CIC. There was a gaggle of reporters standing around.

"Sir, the press had been broadcasting a rather..." Gaeta stopped, as many faces in CIC strained to keep from laughing, the exception was Dee, who was kicking over anything she could and throwing the small models of vipers, raptors and Galactica at the amused reporters.

"You sick twisted morons!" Dee hissed at the reporters as she hurled yet another small raptor at their heads.

"We getting all this?" One reporter asked her silent cameraman, who nodded happily, "Terrific sequel material…" the reporter trailed of dreamily, an expression of press-ecstasy on her face.

"You frakking perverts!" Dee hurled a large box at them as well; she moved forward, "You have the nerve to ask me what I thought about the ritual when you knew

my husband frakked another woman in it! Well I'll tell you what I think! No frakking comment!"

And with that Dee stomped off out of the room with the sound of sobs following her out the door.

Bill looked around confused, "Mr. Gaeta, what the hell is going on?"

"Sir, the press took a video recording of the ritual, their airing it now, broadcasting through the entire fleet…Dee found out and the press have been all over her since." The camera was pointed at Bill's face awaiting his reply.

"What? But I…"

"You never listen do you?" Laura Roslin asked the reporters.

"You better see this," Mr. Gaeta adjusted a screen to show a shot of a reporter talking, "It gets worse…"

Bill watched as the reporter blabbed on about the ritual, and the screen changed, Bill realized that someone had managed to get footage of the ritual. He looked away immediately. Laura on the other hand gazed a moment longer.

"Good grief I look possessed!" Laura practically cried.

"Turn it off!" Bill said clearly, "Now, which one of you idiots took this footage?'

The press waited for him to say something else, and when he didn't they all filed out of the room quickly, heading for the hangar bay.

"Wait, the press conference will take place on Colonial One, where we will discuss this issue with religious delegates, and the celebrants, we must resolve this." She yelled after them.

"Laura?"

"It's too late Bill, no one is going to admit to recording it…and it will take too long to track them down, we need to make statements now."

And with that any hope of a quiet night for two vanished, and Bill grinded his teeth all the way to Colonial One.

The reporters were seated with a bunch of menacing and seemingly growling priests and oracles. The two groups seemed completely segregated. They were even leering at each other.

Laura emerged first. Kara and Lee sat nervously in the president's office, holding hands. Bill noticed that the amulets were still tightly fastened on their wrists, how do you get those things off? Bill wondered. As the buzzing noises escalated from the other room, Kara moved herself onto Lee's lap. Bill concentrated on his breathing, damn. He'd never been good at this. Bill allowed himself to glance over; they were now sucking the lips off each other, not tender kisses either; it looked like they were revving up to repeat the damn ritual. Didn't they realize that he was here? What was he invisible?

"There has been quite enough of that tonight." Bill hissed in their direction, "Cut it out!"

"We have to sweat to get the amulets off." Lee explained sheepishly.

"And you didn't do enough of that before?"

"Apparently not." Kara smiled wickedly and resumed kissing Lee.

"Honored members of religious orders and the press, I am here to make a statement regarding the ritual and the following fiasco. The ritual was not supposed to be recorded and that is a grave error on the part of some unfortunate person who once discovered, will likely be spending a fair bit of time getting to know Galactica's brig."

"Madam President," one of the priests interjected, "We wish to meet the life-giver, without the presence of the press."

"It will be arranged," Laura, continued calmly, "Again, I say the recording has no official sanction. On a brighter note, the ceremony went well, and I can say that we are again re-aligning our star charts and are a lot closer to earth than we last thought. Algae processing is going as well as can be expected and there seem to be no problems for the short term of the fleet. I ask for a publicly broadcasted apology from the press, I have a suggested itinerary being prepared by Tory as we speak."

"Is conception of children encouraged at this time?" one of the priests queried.

"Yes, I suppose it is, next question." Laura gave an impatient response.

"Should we have the ritual made into a documentary?" One foolish reporter shouted.

"No, it's a religious ritual, not appropriate."

"When do we find Earth?"

"We wished to have our people blessed by the life-giver!" The Geminese delegate said clearly, "She and the consort must come to the Geminon Traveler to bless us, the scrolls clearly tell us that those who take part are blessed by the Gods!"

Kara and Lee were now multitasking, making out while listening to the chatter through the curtains. At this moment, Kara slipped out of Lee's grasp and through the doorway, stumbling into the room. The pressed jumped up asking questions that couldn't be heard over their own shouting. The priests bowed down in front of her.

Kara smiled nervously as Laura gently nudged her toward the priests who reached out to touch her reverently.

Bill looked out, and grabbing Lee by the arm, hauled him out to stand beside Kara. As Kara sheepishly shook hands with the religious orders, they shook Lee's hand as well.

The press was intelligently filming this spectacle and formulating questions, judging by the calculating expressions they were all wearing.

Suddenly the most haggard looking oracle grabbed a startled Kara around the middle screeching, "The children of the ritual life-giver will be twice blessed by the Gods!" Proceeding to kiss the dumbfounded Kara's stomach and throw herself down on the floor in front of her. Kara began to laugh hysterically, actually slipping on the floor and caught by a number of happily frantic Geminese and other religious fanatics.

"Someone had a little too much kamala today." Roslin whispered to Bill.

"Uh, help, please." Kara said, not sounding at all like her brass self, "Oww, don't touch my back it's still scraped…you'll wipe the salve off…oh don't do that…"

Lee managed to pry Kara away from their clutches, whispered in her ear, and they both ran off to the small landing bay were the raptor they arrived in was waiting.

Lee called out behind him, "Sorry, got to get these amulets off…"

Bill rolled his eyes, as the press continued to push for information and right to whatever… It was going to be a long night

Note: Not over yet…more chapters coming!


	4. Chapter 4

Bill yawned at Laura. They'd been up all night and we're both exhausted, sitting on Colonial One picking at their breakfast of processed algae. The press and religious delegations had torn each other apart bickering.

"More algae Bill?"

"No thanks, I'm fine." He smiled wryly. Although initially he had been so thankful for food that algae was an absolute treat, the appeal of eating it had worn off a tad and he was now not so eager to be eating like a small fish.

"Would you like any more water?"

"No, thank you."

"I'm sorry I don't have any coffee to offer you, you look as exhausted as I feel." Laura yawned. Bill took off his glasses and started rubbing his temples furiously.

"That was one hell of a long night."

"I feel like I haven't slept in 24 hours."

"36 actually."

"Mmm…I feel like I'll never be able to get to sleep, my shoulders are all tied up in knots, and I have this massive pile of paperwork to fill out, and the press call every five minutes."

"Not to worry, I'll place a call over to the Galactica get marines to keep guard over colonial one, at least until this all blows over."

"You're so good to me Bill." Laura sighed as she slumped over in her chair. She waited as he made the call over to Galactica.

"Saul, it's Bill…Yes could you send a unit of marines over, the president requires extra security…I think you can handle things over there for a few hours…. So? Put Helo in charge if you need to sleep…. Lee and Kara haven't returned yet…No I don't know where they are, I'll send them back if I….late for duty?…Saul, just send the marines over." Bill replaced the receiver.

"I'm so tired…"

"Me too, you could sleep you know.'

"I'm too wound up to sleep." Laura groaned… "Did you think I looked possessed in that recording?"

"You looked beautiful. Perfect."

"Bill, I'm far from looking perfect." He squeezed her hand from the other side of the desk. "Especially in that footage."

" Don't argue with the man who is going to rub your shoulders." He smiled. Laura removed her jacket. As Bill's hands started their work. Laura's eyes closed as she enjoyed the sensations running through her.

"Ohh…that feels good."

"Glad to be of service." Bill smiled. Bill rubbed her shoulders until they were relaxed.

"Mmm…I'd repay the favour Bill, but I'm just about to fall asleep right here." Suddenly Laura felt a pair of strong arms lifting her up, as Bill carried her into her bedroom. He softly set her down on her bed and tucked her into the covers. She saw him start towards the door.

"You must be tired Bill"

"I am." he answered honestly.

"Stay with me, plenty of room, and I'd like to have a nice, strong man like you to keep me warm."

Bill smiled. He removed his jacket and pants and shoes. He crawled into bed in his boxer shorts. Laura removed her shoes and pantyhose. Laura snuggled up beside Bill under the quilt. He kissed her forehead, her nose, and finally her lips. And they fell fast asleep.

_Six hours later._

Tory sighed as she walked onto the landing bay on Colonial One. She had just recovered from the ordeal with the press. She spotted several marines playing cards, and a raptor with fogged up windows. She walked up to the door and knocked. She slowly eased open the door first thing she spotted were two amulets lying loosely on the floor. Then she registered the disorder within. Clothes were flung haphazardly all around, and Major Adama was lying atop Capt. Thrace and both were asleep, sprawled naked on the floor of the raptor.

"Major Adama!" Lee started awake. Tory continued. "Would you and Capt. Thrace please get appropriately dressed and return to the Galactica? They have been paging you for the last 6 hours. You are both extremely late!" With that Tory about faced and headed up the stairs towards Roslin's office.

Tory was surprised to see that the President was not awake pouring over paperwork. She went up to the door of the President's personal quarters.

"Madam President?" she called softly. Then assuming that President Roslin had merely overslept she opened the curtain and was shocked at what she saw. Admiral Adama and President Roslin were snuggled together in the president's bed. Tory noted to herself that she now owed Lt. Gaeta 5 cubits. Tory tried clearing her throat.

The only response she got was their snoring.

"Madam President? Admiral Adama?" She called. Still they slept on.

"PRESIDENT ROSLIN!" She yelled. Laura and Bill started awake. Slowly Laura's face shifted from pale to pink, to crimson.

"Tory…I was…we were…"

'Madam President, you requested I wake you in time for your meeting with the Quorum of Twelve. I'll leave to allow you to get dressed." And with that Tory stepped out the curtain and began to prepare Laura's papers for the meeting.

"Well," Laura started. And they started to get dressed.

"Now the whole fleet will think we're sleeping together."

"Bill, we did sleep together."

"Yes but they will think that we had sex."

"And what would be so wrong with that? But however, it isn't relevant Tory is very discrete." Bill pulled on his uniform, and leaned over and kissed Laura on the lips. A kiss with a promise, she noted. Laura smiled and started changing into another outfit. Bill started towards the hangar bay, though he admitted; it was a struggle to avert his eyes.

When Bill reached the landing bay he was shocked to find that his raptor was gone.

"Frak!" He swore as he turned around angrily and headed back into Laura's office, just as the ship filled with the Quorum pulled into the landing bay. This was going to be a long meeting.

"Welcome." Laura welcomed them warmly. "I'd like to thank Admiral Adama for taking time out of his busy schedule to join us today, this way if you please."

Nice save, thought Bill. She was such a beautiful, resourceful…fiery…

"President Roslin, what do you think of the massive number of couples now attempting to conceive children?"

"Well I'm overjoyed, I think that procreation is necessary to the continuation of the human race."

"I heard that the two celebrants were married to other people. Are we supposed to sit back and condone adultery?"

"No, I believe that we should allow the celebrants to settle this matter quietly. Obviously they were selected by the Gods."

"True, true. So we now should encourage procreation among the fleet?"

"Yes."

After a long and embarrassing meeting in which Bill heard more about his son's sex life than he had ever wanted to know, the Quorum filed off the ship. Bill nodded to Laura on his way to the Raptor. Laura had to shift to avoid Tory's accusing gaze.

"You know Tory, you can take the rest of the day off. I think I'll just get some more sleep. I have an eleven o'clock with Dr. Cottle tomorrow morning, just wake me in time to get there."

Indeed, Tory did have somewhere she wanted to be. After all she did owe him five cubits.

"Felix!" Tory hissed as she rapped on the curtain of his bunk. The other officers were either asleep or on duty. Felix poked his head out of the curtain.

"Oh it's you…well come in, my rack is your rack" he joked. She climbed into his bunk, it was close quarters.

"I owe you the five cubits."

'What? Seriously? How can you tell?"

"When I went to wake up President Roslin this morning, she had the Admiral, in his skivvies asleep beside her in bed!"

"No way."

"Yes way…and now I'm poor."

"Hmm, well I'm willing to change the terms of our bet…"

"Oh?" She questioned.

Felix leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"My, my, my, are you to tell me the good lieutenant isn't getting any? I think I'll just give you the cubits…"

"Oh come on, it's not like it hasn't happened before."

"Last night was a mistake."

"What about the night before that, and those times last week?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes this week.'

"Oh shut up and kiss me."

_Authors Note: I have cowritten this story with my sister, who is very talented, or so she says. We deserve equal credit, and now she won't be so mad at me...Thank you for reading, more to come!_


	5. Chapter 5

Within the next three weeks, Bill conducted a marriage and Dr. Cottle pronounced literally hundreds of women to be confirmed pregnant. Everyone was totally sick of eating nothing but algae. And the news that Admiral Adama and President Roslin had spent the night together was of much amusement to Saul Tigh and the other select few who knew, or rather suspected they knew the nature of their relationship. And Bill Adama sat across from his son, the CAG, making adjustments to the pilot's duty roster.

"Well Racetrack is definitely off the roster, as soon as she gets back from her honeymoon that is." Lee said.

"Well at least that's only one pilot, but we are still one short." Bill sighed.

"Two short, Kara told me she was pregnant yesterday." Lee grinned.

Bill coughed and cleared his throat as a terrible memory he had been trying to forget sunk back in to his mind. He abruptly changed the subject, "Well what are we going to do with Racetrack; she's a fine officer and a good pilot. I suppose she can fly SAR raptors for a bit."

"We could give her Dee's job."

"Where is Dee anyway Major?"

"She's off trying to find the best lawyer in the fleet to take me to the cleaners, Sir."

"You do realize that Kara's baby could be her husband's?" Bill suggested on a whim. Secretly he highly doubted the child wasn't Lee's. Lee did not respond to the comment and the idea of it seemed to make him uncomfortable. He squirmed in his chair slightly.

"What are we going to do for pilots? People getting pregnant left, right and center." Adama closed his eyes for a minute attempting to relax after what had been a long and trying morning.

"We could put out another call to the fleet…train some more nuggets."

"And who do you suggest should train them, our best instructor is knocked up, no thanks to you!"

"What about Athena?"

"As much as I like her, she's still a cylon, I'd be surprised if one of the nuggets didn't try to shoot her."

"Helo?"

"Married to a cylon, you can bet a lot of people would have a problem with that."

"I'll do it."

"You? You're up to your eyeballs in CAG duties."

"Saul Tigh."

"Lee, I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that. I'm just going to pretend that you didn't suggest that we let One-Eye-Tigh, climb out of his bottle long enough to smash up one of my vipers."

"Ok, bad idea. How's this; we get Helo and Showboat to train the nuggets. Helo would probably appreciate the distraction, and Showboat can watch his back and make sure no one shoots him."

"I am completely out of ideas, so I'm leaving this up to your better judgment. Meaning not to get anymore of my pilots knocked up." Bill got to his feet and pointed towards the door."

"Are you asking me to leave?"

"I am asking you to get your ass back to your job, because we are already horrendously understaffed. Tell the pilots whatever you have to, confiscate any remaining contraceptives from the rest of the fleet to give to the pilots, just don't let any more of my pilots get pregnant."

"Do you have another engagement?"

"Yes I have to marry Corporal Venner to his civilian girlfriend, grant him a two-day leave of absence, I have to stand around in CIC and pretend to be working while I daydream lazily as I fill out paperwork, I have to write congratulatory notes to Racetrack and Starbuck, when I really feel like tossing them both in the brig - because I began that stupid frakking policy when crewmen announced pregnancies back on New Caprica, stand around in CIC some more, argue with the Geminese over the COM, then I'll order Gaeta to plan the next jump away from this frakking algae planet, someone else will ask to speak to me, I'll order some more people around, check our ammunition supplies, maybe daydream some more, make emergency plans in case of a cylon attack, forward jump coordinates to the fleet and prepare to jump, pace the corridors looking important, then I have a meeting with President Roslin to discuss the pressing matters at hand and then I have to eat lunch - I'm having algae today, again!" Bill huffed for a minute, breathing heavily. Wow, when he said it all out loud it sounded much more important.

Lee stared blankly at his ranting father for a moment and left through the door. His father didn't know what he was asking him to do. He was asking him to get a bunch of hot-to-trot pilots to stop having sex. This was not going to go over well. Obviously his father was too old to remember the lust and passion of youth. He smiled stupidly as he remembered Kara in that raptor…this wouldn't do, he had too much work to do, no time for cold showers.

Lee strode into the pilot's briefing room and starting passing out assignments. Kara's face fell as she read her assignment. "Raptor duty?" Lee ignored her comment as he continued passing out the assignments.

"One more thing" Lee shouted to his pilots. "Helo and Showboat, you are being asked to take on an extra shift a piece."

'Doing what?" Showboat asked.

"Training new nuggets, we are losing far too many of our best pilots to pregnancy. Ok that's all, back to work. Except you Thrace," Lee smiled deviously at Kara, "I need to see you in my office."

Roslin walked towards the Galactica sickbay dreading the cold exam table that awaited her there. Secretly, she really hated doctors, always had. Always too hypocritical and depressing. Dr. Cottle always blew smoke in her face, smoking in a medical facility is not hygienic; she stewed.

"Dr. Cottle." She greeted him politely as he muttered something inaudible around his cigarette.

"Do you know how much trouble your little ritual has caused?"

"It's just a stupid fertility rite, no one takes those thing seriously, besides, we are closer to finding Earth than ever."

"Not take them seriously? Do you know how many Galactica crewmembers are pregnant, Galactica alone?"

Roslin eyed him warily, "It's not my fault you have a religious group of people…"

"Twenty-three! And only two of them were actually on the godsdamned planet."

"That's interesting, can we start the examination now?"

"No. You sit and listen for a minute… I've performed over fifty blood tests this morning alone! Who's going to have to deliver all these kids? Me! We don't have the meds to spare, so they're all going to have natural childbirths unless the kid can't be turned if they're breech! They're going to frakking hate me! Then they'll want paternity tests, they're military after all…" Dr. Cottle poked Laura, "Does that hurt?"

"Not particularly."

"You're probably fine, let's get this damned thing started…" Dr. Cottle took a long drag on his cigarette. "Now are you experiencing any dizziness?"

"No."

"Any tenderness?"

"No."

"Fatigue?"

"Yes, I've had a lot on my plate, late nights…"

'So I've heard. Any nausea? Headaches?"

"Yes, and Yes."

"Is there a chance you could be pregnant?"

"You're the doctor, you tell me." Laura said wryly.

"You are perfectly healthy and not expecting, thank the Gods."

'If that's all I have an urgent meeting."

"Oh yes, give the Admiral my best."


	6. Chapter 6

Laura entered Bill's office in a huff without saying a word. She locked the door behind her and sat down on the sofa beside Bill.

"Bad day?" He asked Laura

"Try bad month."

"Tell me about it. I have been so busy I've barely had time to breathe properly."

"And on top of all the other problems, paperwork a mile high, press hanging on the bell all day, religious leaders pestering me day and night, my aide Tory has decided that this is the perfect time to start a family, she's pregnant."

"I'm going to be a grandfather." Bill said simply.

"Why Bill, that's good news."

"It would be if I could be happily oblivious to how said child was conceived, however the details of which are shoved in my face every twenty minutes."

" I wish I could say I knew how you felt Bill, but I've never had children of my own."

"Well at least the worst of it is over." Bill smiled over at Laura, "Can I offer you some algae?"

"No, I'm not quite as hungry when I realize that's all we have to eat."

"How about some ambrosia?" Bill leaned over conspiratorially.

"You mean you still have some?" Laura's mouth was agape. "I figured everyone would be out."

"I kept a bottle or two laid away…" Bill trailed off. He went over to his hiding place and pulled out one of his two secret bottles of ambrosia, this one was only about three quarters full. He pulled out two fancy crystal glasses and set them down on the coffee table. He set the bottle down but didn't fill the glasses.

"Didn't you just offer me ambrosia?" Laura puzzled.

"Well, the way I see it, you still owe me a neck-rub." Bill grinned at Laura and she grinned back at him. She went to work on Bill's shoulders. Working out all the little knots, listening to his responses and learning to touch him how he liked to be touched.

"Mmm…that's the spot…ah…a little harder please." Bill groaned. Bill was very much enjoying himself, but he found Laura's hands a little too stimulating. In fact he was wondering what those amazing hands of hers could do with the rest of his body. But he was soon disappointed as Laura picked up the bottle of ambrosia and poured them both a glass.

"Oh, just what I needed." Laura sighed as she sipped her ambrosia.

"Me too. Well actually not quite what I needed." Bill said loosening the collar of his uniform. Laura crossed her legs, and Bill's eyes were drawn to one of her most beautiful features. He was struck by how much he loved this beautiful, amazing woman. Sex with her, would not just be sex, it would be something much more.

"What I need, Laura is some good, honest, wholesome, old-fashioned love-making." Bill looked up into Laura's eyes, which twinkled.

Without a word, Laura got to her feet and smiled at Bill. She gently caressed his cheek and kissed him. "You know." Laura started, "I've been feeling like that too lately…" Then Bill started to touch Laura. It was slow and tender and unbelievably passionate, and this was just through her clothes. Bill claimed her mouth with his kissing her so deeply that Laura's knees shook slightly. He slowly eased her out of her blazer as his mouth went to her neck finding all her sensitive spots and all her ticklish spots. Laura wrapped her arms around Bill's neck and started trailing kisses across his face. Bill led Laura then to his bed, or perhaps Laura pulled Bill, neither could remember which of them started this. It was slow starting with soft touches and caresses every inch of bare skin was exposed and explored by hands and mouth. Bill kissed every finger, every toe. He worshipped Laura's entire body. And then Laura explored Bill, all the scars and the old war wounds and kissed then all and he told her the stories of each one. Then the explorations became more heated with hands and mouths working on each other's most sensitive areas resulting in gasps of pleasure and sighs of joy. They were both completely bared to the other. Bill removed his wedding band and shoved it into a drawer, his wife was dead, this love was alive and in his arms. Then they came together completely fitting so well, like the best lovers do. They moved together on the bed, Bill's eyes staring right into Laura's. After a while she surprised him by flipping him onto his back and taking the reins, so to speak. Bill was quite quiet, but Laura was a screamer, half the ship must have heard her release.

When it was over, they lay sated in the other's arms. Not even enough energy to roll over or get dressed, just to lay in memories.

Unfortunately, Lee Adama had been waiting to see his father for a quarter of an hour. And from outside the door he heard the sounds of wild, passionate lovemaking coming from within his Dad's office. He heard the voices and sounds of his father making love to a woman. Lee reacted how any mature, self-respecting person would act. He put his fingers in his ears and started humming an old colonial drinking song Kara had taught him. Unfortunately he could not block out the woman's scream.

"OH GODS!!! OH BILL!!! I!!! UH!!! LOVE YOU!!!!"

Lee quickly turned around and ran back to the medical bay where Kara was receiving her ultra-sound, he was hoping that his father would have come to see his first grandchild, but Bill had sounded very busy to Lee.

"Where's the Admiral?" Kara asked Lee.

"He was…occupied."

"What? You mean…?'

"Yeah, I'd have never guessed it. Dad's a nooner."


	7. Chapter 7

Bill Adama had been having a very pleasant evening, a fantastic few weeks in fact, and it was going to get better, he smiled happily to himself.

"Admiral," a low voice attempted to coax him from a pleasant daydream, "I figured out why so many women are having twins."

"Why's that?"

"Well, the twins are all fraternal, except in cases in which a patient is genetically predisposed to having identical twins, meaning something was affecting fertility levels in the fleet."

"And?" Bill looked up from lazily reading over the COM reports. It was too late for this…

"The algae is causing a general increase in female fertility, a chemical which causes them to have fraternal twins."

"Fraternal is what again?"

'The ones that don't look alike, just two siblings born at once."'

Bill looked up; this was bringing back some damn memory from high school…something in biology class. Damn it was too long ago.

"So, it won't stop, they'll just have more, as long as were eating this algae…just thought you should know." Doc Cottle meandered off, muttering around his cigarette.

Great, just great, now they'd all be 'rolling doubles' until they found a new food source. Thank the gods that Kara was only having the one, confirmed quite a while ago. Then again, she and Lee would probably, no. He wasn't going to think about it.

He was going to visit Laura, and he was not going to let anything ruin his day.

"Hey Bill."

"Yes Saul?"

"Sneaking off in the middle of the night like this…off to get some presidential loving?"  
"Back to work Saul. I'm off to refuel one of the raptors."

" Those raptors have been refuelled a lot lately Bill, and mostly by you. Now why is it that the admiral would want to refuel the Raptors personally…well, let's hope that Colonial One is better sound proofed than the Galactica…"

Bill cringed slightly; remembering the strange 'wiggly eyebrows' looks Saul had given him and Laura whenever they had emerged from his quarters over the last few weeks, on the other hand... Bill smiled as pleasant recollections came back to him easily, the feel of her hair, the soft warmth of her body against his, the way she'd…

"Bill?" Saul repeated as if for the fifteenth time, "Bill, your son Lee's been skipping around all day, you should talk to him."

"He's been avoiding me actually…"

And with that Bill walked off towards the awaiting raptor to go to Colonial One.

Bill arrived on Colonial One to see Laura more relaxed then she'd been in weeks.

"Bill, come on in." Laura said sitting down on her couch.

"You said you have something important to discuss."

"Actually I do, you see I caved to religious pressure and took the liberty of having Samuel Anders' marriage to Kara Thrace annulled." Laura sat back smiling expectantly.

"You can do that? Don't they have to sign something?"

"Sam already did, besides I'm the president remember, and a religious leader? I can do whatever I want," Laura paused handing Bill a very official looking document, "Whether Captain Thrace signs or not, she is no longer married, but I'd suggest you do make her sign."

"So, the priests have been bugging for this?"

"You have no idea, the one who married them in the first place was only too happy to sign, and now the press can leave me alone." Laura smiled happily.

"What about Lee?"

"Well Bill, his wife has already been seeking a civil divorce, and I have every intention of signing those documents as soon as I see them, no waiting period."

"Well, now that that's out of the way…" Bill cut Laura off with a passionate kiss.

"Chief!" Seelix bent over near his ear, "Chief!"

'What?" The Chief jumps out of his bunk trying not to disturb his sleeping wife and baby. It took him a few more moments to realize it was a very tired and cranky Seelix trying to get his attention.

"There's a problem on the hangar deck sir." Seelix said climbing in to her own bunk, just above theirs.

"I'll deal with it…" Tyrol grumbled, at this time of night he shouldn't have to deal with these things, it was too late for anyone to be on the hangar deck.

When he reached the hangar deck he probed around with a flashlight. The first thing he saw was boots and clothes on the ground. He heard the sounds of someone breathing heaving and moaning. Tyrol gritted his teeth, not on his deck. He decided to yell before turning on the lights and embarrassing the two stupid morons having sex on his deck.

Tyrol took a deep breath, "NO FRAKKING ON MY DECK!"

He paused hearing the moans escalate; they were ignoring him continuing their tryst on his deck. He looked around and finally saw the two shadowy bodies writhing together on his deck, on the floor, next to a viper.

"NOT ON MY DECK!"

He heard louder noises, so he switched on the light, expecting to find two foolhardy knuckledraggers instead he found…

"Apollo, Starbuck…" He said their callsigns in surprise.

They ignored him completely and continued their heavy breathing.

"NOT ON MY DECK! GET DRESSED AND GET OFF MY DECK! NOW!"

Finally, they looked up stunned, and began to dress.

Frak, Tyrol thought, he'd already had half a lecture about the dangers of having sex on the hangar deck for knuckledraggers, what the hell was he supposed to do? They were both his superior officers… He'd have to inform the Admiral; damn. The Old Man was not going to like this…


	8. Epilogue

Bill paced the hallway, outside the guest quarters that the religious faction had commandeered for this purpose; he couldn't believe it had been nearly forty weeks since the damn ritual.

"LEE YOU'RE DEAD YOU HEAR ME!!! OHHHH FRRR-AAAAAAAAK!!!"

Bill sighed, Kara had been shouting curses like that for hours, blocking out the calm voices saying things he just couldn't make out. When a few priests had insisted the ritual life-giver give birth in the traditional way, how could he object? Inside now were several female priests and midwifes, and Lee of course, who, although knowing traditionally he should not be there, convinced them to bend the rules. Well, actually he stood outside the door hollering until Kara got annoyed and yelled for them to let him in. After all Sharon was inside, doing what he wasn't exactly sure, she said something about helping out. At least when Racetrack gave birth to her twins over three weeks ago, they had permitted Hotdog inside without a fuss. Then again, they'd had their twins delivered in sickbay. Even Doc Cottle wasn't allowed into that room, which he was oddly grateful for.

"FRAAAAAK!!! OH GODS IT HURTS!!!! LEE YOU-FRAAAAK!!!! AHHHHRGGGHHHH!!!"

Finally, Bill heard the noises of a baby's crying, it had seemed so long, thirteen hours, when in reality, he remembered that Lee had taken much longer. Bill slumped against the bulkhead and took another swig from the flask in his pocket Saul had lent him for this special occasion. A few more minutes passed, hushed voices were heard and he expected they were cleaning up.

Lee opened the hatch smiling, "Come on in Dad."

Bill Adama glanced around the room, filled with fabrics, towels, strange looking devices he did not wish to know the purpose of, two brick-like objects with sweaty footmarks on them, strange looking devices which he had no desire to learn the purpose of, blood, and a makeshift chair which had Kara sitting up on it, covered in blankets and holding a bundle wrapped in a green towel. The priests hung around commenting a little, and giving Kara water, and so on.

"You did really well." One of the women told her as she began to pack up the bricks and whatever else.

Kara smiled, "Admiral, meet our daughter."

Bill leaned forward to take the baby from Kara, "She looks like you Kara."

Lee immediately reached out to take the baby from his father and cuddled her close to his chest, "I think she looks like me too, she has my eyes."

"All babies have blue eyes when they're born." Bill countered with a taunting smile, he couldn't resist teasing Lee, in reality he saw much of Lee as he had been at birth in the face of his granddaughter, "What are you going to name her?"

"Well, if we'd had a boy, he would have been William, after you." Kara said smiling

"But since we knew we were having a girl, we named her the next best thing," Lee paused dramatically, "Galatea."

Bill sat for a moment, staring at the small squirming baby, "After the Galactica?"

"Be happy sir," Kara smiled tiredly looking at her baby, "If it was a boy I wanted Viper, Viper William Adama."

"Took me weeks to convince her not too, then we found out we were having a girl."

With that Bill sighed and simply tried to enjoy the moment, after all, it was good news and Laura was coming to discuss some shortage tonight.

FIN


End file.
